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Welcome to my blog. I'm Robyn. I was born in October '74 (so I don't have to keep upping my age every year.) I'm married to Kris, my military guy that married me, a pagan hippie. I have 4 children, 3 living, I work fulltime as an IT business analyst (aka - computer dork) and I have worked very hard to get out from under obesity. This blog was originally about the weight loss journey, however now it is about my life. After having lost my 2nd child, Anily, during her full term delivery after a perfectly normal pregnancy, I got involved in a group called "Missing Grace". That is a group that helps people through pregnancy and infant loss, infertility, and adoption. Through this group I found an agency that helped me to DO SOMETHING about all the infertility I saw around me every day. I am in the beginning of a surrogacy journey in which I will be the gestational carrier. I've never done this before so I have to admit I don't know all of what I'm about to take on. I guess we'll find out. In the meantime, I'll blog about my life. My stillbirth, parenting, weightloss, maintaining, working, surrogacy, whatever else happens, life.

The Human Race 8K - 56:17
The Bunker Hills Run 8K - 50:20
Eagan Fun Run 2 mile - 20:05, 5 mile - 54:07

Operation Life
Wednesday, 18 June 2008
MOVING! (yes, I'm a dork, sorry for the typo)
Topic: IT dorks take over


I've made the choice.  I am officially moving to wordpress.  Please remember to change over any RSS feeds you might have or links to the new site at

This site will remain as an archive, however it will regain the annoying ads at the top and I will lose my stats reports as I am downgrading this to a free account.  Hey, if anyone wants to offer to move my history of blog posts, that would be cool.  As it looks, because Tripod (dumb) doesn't offer any kind of export tool, it would be a matter of cutting and pasting ALL text individually to the new site.  I could, in theory, cut and paste the text into a file that Wordpress could use to import.  That would take a long time though and I'm not really that dedicated.

Thanks for reading and I hope to see you over at Wordpress!!

Posted by robynanne at 3:26 PM CDT
Updated: Thursday, 19 June 2008 1:08 PM CDT
Tuesday, 17 June 2008
PMS and Birth Control Pills
Topic: Womb For Rent
You know, for most people involved in surrogacy, the term “womb for rent” is offensive. I’m not different, I don’t like it, thus I use it as a category to make fun of it and take away its power.
I have come across a number of different attitudes regarding my choice to become a gestational carrier. Most of the time, people say it is a wonderful thing to do. I suspect that even then, those people have their own thoughts but here in MN, we are hard wired to not say unpleasant things out loud. (I was born in California through some weird fate and evidently missed much of that hard wiring as I am a downright rebel in the MN-nice category.) Some people (while still being very nice and friendly) have asked about my motivation and hinted at financial considerations. One person, whom I blogged about and happens to work as an allergist, was ignorantly rude in that she didn’t know that what she was saying was stupid. Anyway, of all the people that I have interacted with regarding my gestational surrogacy journey, none of them have been as outright dismissive and upsetting as the very person working with the agency to coordinate the surrogacy journey for me. She and I have been clashing horns from the moment we met and it is just now occurring to me why. Womb For Rent. To her, I am a uterus. I am not a person that needs to be involved in the process, nor am I someone that emotionally or intellectually is worthy of the partnership concept. I’m a uterus that is along for the ride and I will be told when I need to medicate and when I need to show up and that is about all there is to it. For that matter, I’m lucky to get advanced notice on that front really. It seems ironic to me that the very agency that is supporting this surrogacy is doing so in such a cold manner. The serendipity of it all is that while I was unlucky enough to have fallen into this agency, it is through them that I met and matched with P and J who are the most amazing people. (I was going to say, Intended Parents I’ve ever met, but I have only met them so really, that’s not saying much for them.) I would not have traded the events for the world as I am ever so happy to have matched with my boys. Plus, thick skinned as this native CA girl is, I’m mostly more amused than buggered by the juxtaposition of this agency, their role, and their attitude towards the people in it. The other side of that is that once P, J and I are actually pregnant, I don’t think there is much more of the action that they get to coordinate. There is just one thing that it leaves me to wonder. If *I* am just a uterus that is in it for the money, what the heck does that make them???

BTW - after MONTHS of badgering them to tell me what kind of meds they want me to take and when and being told there will be NOTHING until mid July OVER and OVER and OVER, I e-mailed them today to notify them of my day 1 and they told me TODAY that I’ll be starting birth control pills and they will be… yes.. overnighting them to me. *eye roll* What the FUCKING FUCK IA*C? (I’m not sure, legally, if I can flame this agency all over the internet. As such, the 3rd letter is *’d out. Feel free to search with every letter of the alphabet though in Google. Tip: Adding ’surrogacy’ might help too.) (Also BTW, why the hell would someone KNOWINGLY be so crappy to someone they KNOW has PMS hormones coursing through her veins this very moment and has access to the internet and a semi-large vocabulary?)

Posted by robynanne at 1:40 PM CDT
Monday, 16 June 2008
Well, sorta...
Topic: Fun With Obesity

I was not impressed with how I did this past weekend. For a 'test' of my resolve to workout when it isn't easy, I didn't do so well. The one thing I can say is that I DID fully put together the roof for the swing-set, lift that sucker up to the top of the 'play structure', and attach it. Then when I was outside with the kids I looked up at it only to notice that it was really lopsided and DUH, I had put one side of the roof together totally wrong. So I UNattached it, took it down off the top, took it all apart, and redid the one side. Then I put it back together and once again lifted it up to the top of the swing set and attached it there. My arms, which did eventually get sore by Friday morning from the uber strength training session I did, are quite sore again today. I think that counts for some workout points. Also, I did all of this while my general contractor neighbor that built his own house himself was working in his yard next door where he could see me. TOTALLY embarrassing. It is so intimidating to be building that where he can see! LOL! He did come over when I was lifting the roof up to the top to see if I needed help. Probably because I looked so fully ridiculous. Because it would drive me insane to have all my neighbors knock on my door to see if I could fix their computers, I refuse to ever ask our neighbor to help out with this stuff. When he came over that one time I'm sure he noticed that I had put the roof together wrong and he didn't say anything about it - because - well - how would he have done that without being a little snotty about it? Could you see? "Oh, did you notice that this side of the roof is longer than the other side and it looks all crappy and you are going to have to redo the whole thing?" I don't think there is a polite way to say that. Oh, I'm mortified. On the plus side, I did figure out how to put enough pressure on the drill/screwdriver so that it actually put the screw into the roof frame instead of just stripping the screw by the end. I braced myself on the ground by it and used my feet/legs to push it in while just pressing the trigger with my hands. Worked awesomely. I just had to make sure my neighbor wasn't watching while I did THAT!

With Kris still out of commission and me doing drop off and pick up duties for the kids, I still have a chance to prove myself and my dedication by making it to the gym this week. I have my bag packed so I just need to figure out when. In theory I could probably do it tonight but I'm going to aim for leaving work with enough time to get it in before I have to get the kids.

OH! One other thing I did this weekend that was like working out - I got the pool out and set up for the kids. I do not know how Kris got it into that box last fall, but pulling that pool out of the box was like assisting a birth to a giant wad of blue and white plastic - only someone stole my forceps, and the patient (aka, Mrs. cardboard box) kept sliding across the lawn instead of staying put when I tried to pull. Just replace 'push' with 'pull'! Breathe, breathe, breathe, PULL! We then put together the metal frame and straightened it all out and Gavin started the hose. I don't know how the kids can play in it when the water is ice cold from the hose still but they do. Even little Asher was walking around in there, having the time of his life. I am thinking, however, that we will be much more strict about the swim diapers now though because I took his regular diaper off after it not only sucked up the whole pool worth of water but started drawing the clouds down out of the sky towards him. I went into the house to throw that one into the diaper bin and when I came out, Gavin was on the stairs to the pool asking me "Mom, is Asher supposed to poop in the pool?" Um, is that a trick question? So we had to let all the water that had so far filled into the pool out, fish out the poop pieces (ew), and disinfect the inside of the pool.

Because Beckey asked, I will share a little of our Saturday. For more details, Beckey, you'll have to call. We had a court appointed 'visitation day' with my father on Saturday. Very long story, but he has dementia and there are issues about his kids being able to visit him. According to the courts, we legally get to see him the 2nd and 4th Sat of each month. Last Sat was one of those. My brothers came out to my house and I drove out ~3 hours with them and my kids. Kris was staying home due to recovering from surgery and his brother was staying at the house to help him out. The person that is caring for Dad now, we'll call Gouda, just for the sake of the blog. Gouda and us kids, well, we don't all get along so hot. Gouda was not supposed to be there when we visited and although she answered the door, she left right away. Well, not right away. She said she didn't know I was bringing the kids and she didn't pick things up in the house for kids because, you know, we don't want anything broken. She then went back, picked 3 green candles up and put them on a higher shelf. Weird. I had also asked if she had indeed wanted to get a nurse because in court, we were told she required that. We originally tried to fight it saying we didn't need a nurse to be able to care for him but they told us to not fight it. Gouda acted all weird about me asking about the nurse, like I was being a wuss for needing one when I had said we did not, I was just not sure about the details after what we had heard in the court room. She said there wasn't one and we'd have to take care of him. She was acting very much like she was convinced we'd burn the house down while she was gone. Anyway, the visit went well. Dad was happy to see us and got a huge kick out of learning the boys sang just like he did. They brought a CD of Zach in the choir and he seemed to really like that. After a few hours though, he was getting anxious and was asking about Gouda. We called her and she came back and the whole thing ended a little earlier than planned. The children did not break anything, although Asher gave Dad a big hug and kiss when we left.

Surrogacy news: We have PMS for the donor!! LOL! Our donor has actually started her cycle and is on BCPs as I write this. We are so far a GO for our transfer in late July. At the moment I'm bummed that she is annon as I'd love to put together a PMS basket to send out to her. Let's see... some tampons, pads with wings, chocolate, Midol, and maybe a bottle of tequila. On the really annoying side of things, I had to find this out because my wonderful guys told me. Not, in fact, because the agency handling all of this made a point of notifying me that yes, this egg donor did in fact actually get her period and is cycling just like she is supposed to be and all is on schedule.

BTW - on the blog change front, Wordpress is coming out far and above the winner so far.  Not only is it free, but it has WAY more bells and whistles and, more importanly, details in the stats section, than the Typepad one has for the PAID account.  Weird.  I'm going to keep the typepad one up to date for a few more days to see if the general search traffic hits it more since they are supposed to keep entering your stuff to the search tools.  We will see since they've had some time so far and I've had zero search engine hits at either new site.  I've moved the links to the new ones off to the right on this blog.  Incidentally, I've practically doubled my readers after naming that last post "naked people running".  Amazing how many people search on the word "naked" in google.

Posted by robynanne at 11:35 AM CDT
Thursday, 12 June 2008
Naked people running
Topic: Fun With Obesity

Weight: 160

Imagine, if you will, being in the shower at your gym.  You have just applied conditioner to your hair and are now rinsing your hands and getting ready to shave.  Over the PA system, you hear “Attention Lifetime members and guests, please evacuate the building.  Attention Lifetime members and guests, you need to evacuate the building due to a gas leak.”  That was my morning!  At the risk of blowing up with the building, I decided to take the time to leave relatively on my own terms.  I know, risky, but so is running out of the gym with a towel wrapped around me and leaving all my stuff in my locker.  (At least I lock my locker when I’m in the shower and don’t leave everything sitting out on the bench.)  So, I do a quick rinse, feel bad about not shaving my legs, and dry off as quickly as I can with my towel.  I head to the lockers where people are asking if we heard the news about the gas leak.  Yes, thank you, we heard but as you can see, we are NAKED.  Sheesh.  I throw on some clothes and jam my feet into my shoes and pack everything up and run out.  My hair is unbrushed and dripping, my teeth are unbrushed and my red and white gingham shirt is starting to show off my blue bra as the water spreads from my shoulders down.  I DID, thankfully, apply deoderant.  I stop at my car in the parking lot to put on my belt - while people just coming to the gym for their workout and have no idea what is going on wonder why the crazy blue-bra lady is holding up her shirt to mess with her belt in the parking lot.  Or they are wondering what the hell Cousin It is doing with belted pants and a bra because, well, did I mention my hair was just hanging down and dripping wet?  Never a dull day, people.  Never.

I have to take a moment to totally brag about my accomplishment in the workout before the gas leak.  I did something that I have been too intimidated to do for the last year.  I went to the strength training section, found a piece of equipment, and used it.  I know!  Not a single person pointed or laughed or anything.  Well, I did change the height of the seat on one thing and sit down on it only to have the whole seat come crashing down to the floor with me, but I don’t think anyone was paying any attention.  When my sisters were here, Beckey had said I had definition in my arms.  Now, she was either just being nice or she meant that my arms looked normal and not all fat like they used to because I decidedly do NOT have any definition to my arms.  I have plenty of extra skin, but that doesn’t count, I don’t think.  I would like to fix that to at least some degree so I worked my arms in a little strength session today.  I thought I had done a good job doing 2 reps of 10 on 4 different pieces of equipment, but I’m not feeling very sore or anything now so I’m going to guess I need to work harder.  This was after a ~35 minute run though so I felt my workout commitment had been kept. 

Back in the locker room (pre-shower-gas-leak-fun), I had to face the dreaded weigh in.  I get so worked up over this when it has been awhile.  I ended up with…160!  Not so bad afterall!  I cannot imagine why, but I’ll take it!  Too bad I’m so close to the weekend again.  I’ll just have to make sure I’m dedicated to finding workout time.  BTW - tomorrow is Friday and Kris is having his other shoulder operated on so I won’t be hitting the gym first thing in the morning.  This weekend will be a VERY good test of my ability to fit in workouts creatively.

On the surro front, there has been no news.  Technically we are not expecting the donor to notify us of her PMS symptoms until tomorrow so it isn’t time to get worried just yet.  I think I’m just antsy considering the last time we were waiting an egg donor to say she’s started her period.  We’re all just hoping this goes over smoothly.

Posted by robynanne at 2:49 PM CDT
I need your help!
Topic: IT dorks take over

OK, I will add a real post shortly (because OH BOY did I have an eventful morning!!!) but right now I need some help.  You will notice that there is now a fancy list of blogs to the right.  To the left you will see some fun catagories.  Well, I was trying to do some editing to my site yesterday to make it more user friendly and I ran into a little snag.  Tripod will only let me assign ONE catagory to any post.  Well, if you've read this for any amount of time you will notice that I ramble write with a lot of diversity in my posts.  One catagory is just not going to cut it.  Plus, for the 3rd time I did NOT get my traffic report created for the previous day and I actually did decide to pay the dumb $4-something just so I could view traffic reports.  Yes, I'm anal like that and YES, all you non-commenting peeps that come to my blog, I know you are here!  Did I mention I love comments?

 Anyway, I've just rambled been diverse again.  My point is, Tripod as officially cheesed me off enough to leave.  It will be sad.  I've been here ever since Ivillage pawned me off on them without a choice like the red-headed step child I am way back in, oh, 2003 or something like that.  I started the site originally when I was pregnant with Anily in 2002 so that I could display pictures of the cloth diapers I was making for her.  When she ended up dying, I used it to post information about her and then I blogged my pregnancy with Jessica and then I kept blogging about the kids and then I created THIS specific blog for the weightloss and, well, here we are.  I am not deleting all the family stuff - although goodness knows I haven't updated it in ages.  I think it celebrates Ash's first birthday over at that site still.  Anyway, that is free so whatever.   I am moving my 'operation life' stuff.

 I am deciding between two sites.  Typepad has caught my eye from a number of other blogs I've read.  My friend Kristina has suggested Wordpress which I know other friends also use.  I'm checking them both out but in my short experience, Wordpress is getting better scores.  Mostly for the 'free' factor.  Typepad is $4.95/month and it doesn't look like the bells and whistles are any fancier for that monthly payment.  The one really nice thing about Typepad so far is the design and overall look of my blog would be more up to me it seems.  (Or, at least, it is easier to make it my own.)  Also, the 'Operation Life' name in the web address is open at Typepad vs Wordpress, where it is not.  On the other hand, Wordpress has funner stats that are easier to get to I think.  It was also pretty easy to add links to a blog roll there but to be fair, I didn't attempt to do that at Typepad.

 These are the two sites I've set up:

I will be playing with both of these and trying to keep up the blogs at all three places (um, yikes) for the next 13 or so days.  (Until Typepad is no longer free or until I make up my mind, whichever comes first.)

Please check out the other two sites and let me know (via commenting) which you prefer.  Also, if you have experience with one or the other, a review of the service you've recieved (customer service is a big deal to me) and your general feel for the site would be great!


Posted by robynanne at 10:06 AM CDT
Wednesday, 11 June 2008
Under Construction
Topic: Fun With Obesity


I missed the turn off to go to my normal gym this morning and the next turn off isn't until quite a ways down the road. I had almost convinced myself to just drive to work and I'd run outside around the office and shower and get ready there at work. (There is a place to do this.) I changed my mind because I had to go to the bathroom and I knew both that I could NOT run while needing to pee because I'm not hard core enough to be OK with wetting myself for the sake of the run AND that I was not really willing to go into the building where I work before running while wearing all my running stuff and having not showered just to use the restroom and then leave. I decided instead to drive a bit further down the road from my work to the other Lifetime there.

I drive up and there are construction trucks and demolition bins everywhere. The parking lot is full, though, so clearly they are still open. I went in and it was a mad house of everything being torn apart. The only place not touched was the aerobic exercise area with all the machines and the running track. I went down to the locker room and they had the women's locker room all marked off and signs saying the women were to use the 'family' locker room for now. Evidently, they had already finished the family locker room and while it was tiny, it was pretty nice. The showers were in their own little rooms with lockable doors going into them. They had benches and everything in each individual shower room. There wasn't any counter space to brush your teeth or your hair or anything though - just a couple of individual bathrooms with those same lockable doors and a toilet and sink and mirror in each room. Since we will remember that I, in fact, needed to use the restroom we will note the dismay I felt in learning that the restrooms were being propped open so people could use the sink and mirrors. I found a locker and dropped off all my stuff (thankfully I had dressed in my workout stuff at home even though it was FREEZING to walk around outside in a tank top and shorts) so I could head out in search of a working bathroom. After getting directions 2 different times from 2 different people (um, ya, the place wasn't that big so either I'm a really bad finder or the people were really bad at giving directions) I found a bathroom with 1 working stall in it.

By now it is getting pretty late and I don't have much time left. I decided to run on the track because I've never done that before and I just wanted the experience. There were a few people walking on it, but no other runners. I tried to stick to the middle lane but it was kinda insulting because it was labeled for "Slow runners" while the other one was labeled for "9 min mile or faster runners". Well, I'm no 9 min miler (yet) so I shuffled along in the slow lane. I thought it was really funny that they had signs alternating the direction of the runners every other day until I made it a few times around the track. It feels really annoying to always turn in the same direction so I could see how if you went there every day you'd want to run the other way. I finished a 30 minute run and on the way back to change I noticed a sign saying that they would be closed as of Friday until the grand re-opening around the 21st. I guess I was lucky they were open when I came here. I noticed that they had an outdoor pool which I think the kids would love so I'm looking forward to that this summer, although I wish it wasn't such a drive to get there. I'm also really excited to see the new locker room once they are done there.

One thing from this morning was that they did not have a scale in the family room. That means I have another grace day before weighing in which I've decided is a good thing. No good could possibly have come from weighing in today after 4 days off. Not that tomorrow will be much better but hey, I'll take what I can. I don't know what it is lately with all this but I have been missing so many days to workout. I'd love to blame the busy summer but I didn't run into this last year at this time. Last Sat I could've gone in but I was out at my mom's house and didn't want to deal with it. Sunday I could not have gone until at night due to the birthday thing. (That would be Jessie's birthday thing, which was marvelous and fun and wonderful! My baby girl made herself a pink cat named Feline - as in - Bambi and Feline - pronounced phonetically fa-leen. My husband thinks she is a genius for naming her cat feline, as in phonetically fe-line. Jessie had a great time with her friends but it is hard for me, the social equivalent to a loudspeaker and spotlights, to watch my daughter hide and shy away from the group.) Monday I also could not have gone until night because my poor baby Asher had a bad tummy bug and while he blessed me by NOT doing anything gross in my car on the ride to and from the doctor office, that was about the only thing he did not hit. My washing machine just gave me a notice of strike yesterday saying that I was not allowed to put anything noxious in it for at least another week. Totally fair terms, if you ask me. Tuesday my husband requested I take over pick up and drop off duties while he biked into work. Since we were over at his mom's house until pretty late that night too, I didn't even really get a chance to go in at night. Do you see the problem here? If it isn't fitting into my schedule all pretty and normal-like, I'm not making space for working out. Since my life is not actually ever pretty and normal-like, that means I'm missing a lot of days. I need to address that. I also need to address the fact that I've been eating less healthy for snacks. I used to be very good about having fun HEALTHY things on hand for snacking and I have not been doing so well with that lately. I picked up some rhubarb today that I can cut up and I think that'll be a good start. It is time to reassess the habits and figure out how to put them back on the better track.

Posted by robynanne at 12:03 PM CDT
Updated: Wednesday, 11 June 2008 3:42 PM CDT
Friday, 6 June 2008
I'm sorry for this post.... well, not really

Weight: 161

One of my (I know, there are a lot) hot button issues is when people say "I'm sorry." when they don't really mean it. To the best of my knowledge, "I'm sorry" does NOT actually mean "Huh, sucks to be you, doesn't it?" However, that is exactly how WAY too many people use it - especially in customer service situations. If you have absolutely no intention of changing anything at all about your actions, then don't use the phrase "I'm sorry".

In the gym this morning while on the elliptical (can't run 5 miles every day) they started screaming/counting off jumping jacks or pushups or whatever again in the gym. After my workout I finally mustered up the courage to go to the PT while the group was running and say very nicely, "Excuse me, but could you maybe please not do that counting out loud? It is really distracting and annoying while I work out." He said "I know, I'm sorry about that. Maybe you could wear headphones." In other words, he had NO INTENTION of stopping at all. Now, fine. Give that as your stance, but don't say you are sorry for it when you are clearly NOT sorry for the noise intrusion. In fact, you intend to do it AGAIN. Indeed, as soon as I went to start my stretches they started counting out loud AGAIN and this time did it extra loud and started cheering with it and being all obnoxious. The PT DID invite me to join them on Monday morning for free so that I could be part of the screaming instead of merely a victim of it. I had said no thanks, but now I am rethinking that stance. How better to get under his skin than to join the class and be as obnoxious as possible right there IN his class? I could count out loud as I'm kicking him. 1! 2! 3! 4!.....

I'm just in a weird mood today I think. In theory, a week from today we will begin cycle #2 for the surrogacy. While I still have no idea what I'm supposed to DO upon the start of that, I've got a dozen or so different meds that the pharmacist tossed into my grab bag deal. I'm not sure how my insurance co-pay will work with that but oh well. I've heard a rumor about an end of July egg harvest timeframe which to me means June 13th would be the start of the cycle BEFORE the cycle with the egg harvesting. I mean, then the next cycle would start around July 13th and two weeks into that, July 27th, would be mature egg time for harvest. I realized though that if I do end up with an April due date, my births will have been July, June, May, April, in that order. Weird huh? Also weird that Anily was born totally out of the pattern.

Yesterday I came home from work to find that Kris's new car salesman sent us cookies. Yes, a tin of cookies. Kris had a big truck. He turned it in and now how a smaller Ford.. Um… I don't remember but it looks like a station wagon only beefier. I call it a station wagon and Kris gets all insulted and says "It's a TRUCK." Whatever. It's not a truck. Anyway, he got it because it would have better gas mileage. Well, so would a leer jet when compared to that giant truck he had but OK, I'll give him that. It also doesn't really fit the 3 car seats in the back well. Gavin is about a ounce or two away from the 80 pounds he needs to be out of the booster seat and really, he is almost 9 years old. When I think back to MY childhood there is no WAY I'd have been in a seat of any kind when I was 9. Of course, way back then, we used to sleep in bunk beds that could kill us with the non-fire proof pjs and I think the baby car seats were just held into the cars with some fabric glue and a paperclip. Well, I'm not so sure but perhaps Gavin would be fine with no booster chair in Kris's car. Really, we don't have all three in his car all that often anyway. The other thing is that Jessie is growing and getting near the age when she can be in a booster instead of the full fledged car seat. That might give them more room in the back of Kris's station wagon, err, truck, I mean. But I've gone off my original topic intent. They sent us cookies. Aside from the fact that I find this sort of sad and pathetic for the poor dealership, there was the temptation of cookies in our house. I tried to fling them out to the kids as much as possible but I have to admit I had 2.

Posted by robynanne at 2:28 PM CDT
Thursday, 5 June 2008
How much would you pay to go 'Straight'?

Weight: 160

I FINALLY got back to 160!! YAY! I have to say that I've been eating these veggie stick things (air puffed french fries more or less) in the evenings straight from the bag and I've been doing GREAT at portions!! I'm so proud of myself. I have the bag right by my computer and I can grab it, eat some, and PUT IT BACK DOWN. It has sat in there for 4 days now and is still not empty. This is an amazing thing!

I have a hair 'consultation' appointment this Sat. I'll have to bring the kids since Kris has drill on Sat (but not Friday or Sunday, which is really odd but I'll take it.) I have heard about this Japanese hair straightening thing that you can do to permanently make your hair as if you have hot ironed it. Now, I've heard a LOT about it - some people swear by it - some say it will destroy your hair. Everyone says that as your hair grows out, since obviously it doesn't change your genetics, it will grow out not straight and the line between the treated hair and the not treated hair looks odd. It is also expensive and takes forever. Now, the taking forever part is normal for me. Just using a hot iron to straighten it takes ~2 hours, and that's only if I pay someone professional to do it. A perm would take ~5 hours. Since she says that it NORMALLY takes 5 hours to do this to someone, I'm willing to guess it will be a full 8 hour day for the actual appointment if I do have one. From what I understand, there are 2 methods of this that are not going to destroy your hair. All other types will actually turn your hair into little porous strands of goo. That or snakes with big fangs, I forget which. Either way, it is evidently important to find someone that REALLY knows what they are doing and is using the correct chemical mix. The place I found that does it is Amazing Beauty Spa and Salon at 995 Grand Ave Apt B1. They use the Yoki or whatever it is called technique, which is what I was looking for. When I asked how long they've done it for, she said 4 years… sounds kinda short to me. Then again, everyone has to start somewhere, right? They charge $400+ for this service so… yikes, right??!! But OH… if it is possible. The change would be drastic to me. Like being able to wake up and SEE without glasses was. Only trouble being that obviously it needs to be redone as your hair grows out and my hair grows at approx 4 MPH (Yes, I'm kidding) so that's a lot of re-doing. If I can though, I'd like to try it just once and see what happens. Because my hair grows so fast, I'm not really all that worried. Heck, if I fry it off and have to get a wig I'll STILL be able to have nice hair. I've actually considered shaving it on purpose and getting some wigs. Wish me luck at the consult - and that they tell me it will work for my hair type.

I ran another 5 miles today. I made 49:09 for my time. I averaged 6.1MPH. Pretty decent, huh? My husband sent me this run for the troops info ( and I'd really like to do this because, hey, my husband actually sent it to me. He usually whines about having to watch the kids alone when I go run. Plus, it is a chance for me to prove to him that I am NOT anti National Guard… I think they do awesome things when needed for natural disasters and such at home… I am just anti 'send generally young, hot-headed people overseas with loaded guns and put them in dangerous situations'. Seriously folks, I know *I* would not want the majority of my husband's unit in MY backyard near my kids while holding loaded paintball guns, not to mention real bullets. Anyway, I digress. I'd like to do the run but it is the day after a run that my friends are doing so if anyone is in MN and interested in going, let me know. I may end up doing it alone. That or pester my friends to do two run days in a row so much that they have to either stop answering the phone when I call and change their numbers, or go.

Oh ya! Ultra-bitch made another showing today. I'm thinking that she must be a regular that just comes in after I normally leave. I have been running a bit late this week so that must be it. I got out of the shower today and I walked past her as I went to the locker section and she went into the showers. Since she was showering, I had free access to everything she had out, which was, in fact, everything. I have to admit, I did move some things. I took her half eaten protein bar and moved it about 6 inches over and I took this bottle of hair product and moved it about 6 inches the other way. Not much, but enough that she might wonder if something was different. I figure, if I can keep messing with her head enough, she might start to actually put some of the stuff away. I'll have to let you know how my experiment works out. Don't worry, if she gets mad at me… I think I can take her.

Posted by robynanne at 1:51 PM CDT
Updated: Thursday, 5 June 2008 1:56 PM CDT
Wednesday, 4 June 2008
Asher do!

Weight - 162 - again!

There is screaming in our house. Lots of screaming. Asher has decided he is big enough to do everything for himself. The trouble is, this is not so much correct. Yesterday it started when I picked the kids up at daycare. Asher started screaming because "Asher do!" was not obliged when he wanted to buckle himself into his seat. Now - it was only not obliged because when I took my hands away to let him do it himself, he pushed the buckles away, hopped out of the seat, and attempted to drive away on his own from the front seat. Apparently, "Asher do!" had more to do with the car and less to do with the seat buckles. Upon getting home (where I made sure he put up the garage door before driving in) there was more screaming because "Asher do!" started again in honor of unbuckling himself, opening the car door, and jumping down out of the van. Thankfully, he cannot actually unbuckle himself (or those trips down the highway would get MUCH more exciting) nor can he open the van door. He can jump down from the van (and off of the coffee table and out of his crib and down 3 flights of stairs) so he got to do that.

Then it was time for dinner making. "Asher do!" now applied to cutting open the turkey package (Chicken! According to Asher) and browning the turkey. He also wanted to participate in cutting the carrots, broccoli, and brussel sprouts for the little stir fry I was making. Yes, it was a pretty healthy meal last night I think. Thankfully, Gavin had run outside to dig up worms for his newly acquired crawfish (Which he would NOT let me put in our dinner and I was so unhappy) (um, the crawfish, not the worms.) so Asher became distracted by the open door and the sandbox. I finished cutting with only one helper as Jessie was enjoying putting the cut veggies into the bowl and the parts we weren't cooking into the trash. Since Asher had taken the package of noodles outside with him in a covert attempt to force me into requesting his assistance, the meat and veggies cooked while I asked Asher nicely to find the noodles. Jessie found them for us and "Asher do!" started all over again with the noodles.

Dinner was finally made and the kids rounded up at the table. Asher declared the turkey to be "Good!" and picked all the ground turkey out of his veggie stir fry. When the ground turkey was gone, he wanted to dish himself up some more. (Asher do!) Aside from the fact that he was not going to get away with just eating the meat, Asher dishing himself up tends to also include Asher dishing up food for the table and the floor and sometimes the windows in the next room. (Depending on how much oomph he gets into his frustrated throw when the spoon that is bigger than his torso doesn't do what he wants.)

After dinner, we went outside to work on the swing set some more. We've got much of it put together but now we are putting the tunnel slide together. "Asher do!" was heard as he wanted to screw in the nuts and bolts and tighten the large sheets of plastic together into a slide. Even though I promised him that when he was a teenager he could not only do all the manual labor type things like that but also mow the lawn and bring lemonades out to my lawn chair he still screamed at not being able to put together the slide.

At bedtime, after Asher insisted that he got BOTH sippy cups with juice (which I resolved by giving them both to him and telling him to give one to Jessica - amazing how compliant he is when it is put that way instead of just giving him one and handing the other straight to Jessie.) we went upstairs for pjs, teeth brushing, and stories. Oh the screaming. If I am going to let "Asher do!" his own pjs, then he is going to have to NOT put the shirt on by putting his feet into the arm holes. I tried to let Asher brush his teeth, but 'Asher do!' meant Asher throwing the toothbrush as far from him as possible. (He really needs to be signed up for little league because he has got an ARM!) The one thing Asher did NOT want to do was clean the toothpaste off the wall when I handed him the washcloth and said "Get to it, boy." Thankfully, the last "Asher do!" was something I could totally allow as he wanted to climb into his own crib. I do love how easily this boy goes to bed.

BTW - Mom - Yes, I DO know all the stories you have about me as a child and my single most uttered phrase "ME DO IT!" and no, I don't think you're funny.

Posted by robynanne at 12:30 PM CDT
Updated: Wednesday, 4 June 2008 12:39 PM CDT
Tuesday, 3 June 2008
So if she weighs the same as a duck...


While I was running this morning there was a news program about gay marriages. I didn't catch much of it because the treadmills are far from the screens and I can't read the captioning at the bottom very well. The one thing I caught was something about "opponents of gay marriages have gained" What did they gain? I don't know. Frankly, if it had said "A brain and stopped being so insane and dropped the whole issue." I'd have totally rejoiced. I suspect, however, that it was something much darker for America. OK, here's the thing - in general, I believe the people that oppose gay marriages do so because their religious terms for marriage do not support two people of the same gender being married in that religion. Well, so what? Their terms for marriage also do not support two witches that have conspired with a Wiccan (yep, actually Wiccan this time - AND nuttier than a fruit bat, I might add) priest and his WIFE, a Wiccan priestess (She was not so nutty, but she did have a broken leg and you can kinda see the cast under her robes in the pictures if you look) to use the large broadsword that I (I mean she, the female witch-bride) bought as a wedding gift for her witch-groom and draw a circle around the wedding location. Then we called forth the guardians of the watchtowers of the North, East, South, West - the spirits of Earth, Air, Fire, and Water - and of course, the Goddess, Mother Earth and the God, Father Sun, to witness and participate in our marriage. I mean - in their marriage. I mean Hand-fasting. We then jumped over, back, and over a broom again before walking back down the aisle to greet our guests. We didn't even call it a wedding - it was a Hand Fasting. However because Kris has a penis and I do not, none of that other totally NOT Christian stuff apparently matters. This, to me, means their argument is bunk. I mean, pick a freaking stance and stick to it logically and fully if you are going to, for crying out loud. If the only LEGAL marriages should be Judeo-Christian (or Muslim or whatever religions are going to be included here) marriages - then at least make that your running stance. But they DON'T. Why? Because they know that it would be pushing too many people too far. Pick a battle you have a chance at winning - and thus the poor gays get all the grief while we witches get to hang our marriage certificate on the wall in a frame. Which is interesting really - considering in the past witches have just gotten to hang and I'm pretty sure gay people would sometimes float if tossed in a lake too.

I would, by the way, get into the whole issue of separation of Church and State, but I happen to know that 99.9% of the people that think gay people should not be legally allowed to marry ALSO think the church, correction, THEIR church, and the state should be downright pre-marital lovers. Thus, it is a moot point to argue. The other 0.1% is clearly confused and probably thinks they are voting on how it should be illegal to dress Chihuahuas up in tiny little tuxedos because damn, how much humiliation should a dog have to endure?

And thus my day starts. Incidentally, I am REALLY REALLY tired because I've been staying up way past my bedtime trying to catch up on the shows recorded on my DVR. I turned it on the other day to start a Dora show for Jessie while I got Asher put to bed and it screamed something at me about expectations and attention and SAYING I want to watch a show and then getting 5 episodes behind. I just finished off the last episode of "The Love Boat" and "Cheers" so I'm making a real dent - that was really sad about Gopher though - that's all I'll say about that so I don't ruin it for anyone else. When I go to bed past 10 (or 11, or 12), it is really hard to get up in the 5ish range. Then it is really hard to get into my workout. I did it though. I ran 5 whole miles this morning and I even finished at 49:29. I'm starting to think my shoes are showing some wear because my feet are starting to not like the running. I've been kinda hobbling around today as my right heel feels a little bruised. Of course, I'm certain it had nothing to do with walking around all day yesterday in 3 inch heels when I don't normally wear heels.

Ultra-Bitch (I've changed her name. This one is more fun) was in the locker room again today. She wears bright orange cotton thong underwear. Once she got dressed I still couldn't take her seriously because I kept seeing those thongs in my mind. She was also taking up slightly less of the bench today so I didn't get to practice my super negotiating talents and suggest we clear off a little corner and call it Robyn-land.

We are now a week and 3 days out from having potential egg donor activity. I've heard a rumor that once that happens, I'm supposed to start taking some kind of medication. I don't know what or how much so I figure I could just go to the pharmacy and ask for the grab-bag special. I swear this agency thrives on keeping me as much in the dark as possible… that… or they just like paying extra to overnight meds to me while knowing that I'm freaking out because I have no idea what comes next. Our egg donor has also just NOW been sent her STD testing kit which she has to complete before we can do anything. Now, we've HAD 2-3 weeks for this to have been done but it has not. Instead we are doing a rush order on it to make sure everything is back in time. I have never wanted to start my own company more in my life. Seriously, THIS is an internationally renown agency? Anyway, I feel bad griping about it all. I don't honestly mind so much for myself and when I do it, my boys think I'm being stressed out by it all when I am not. Honestly, I just can't pass up the humor opportunity their customer service provides.

BTW - speaking about fertility and surrogacy stuff - I'd just like to make a shout out about the Sex And The City movie/show for those of you going through that that might be having an aneurism because of the way infertility is dealt with by them. I mean, she (Charlotte) is given a 15% chance of naturally getting pregnant due to her cervical fluid being anti-sperm. She takes this as a death sentence for any possible pregnancy when DUH, 15% chance is nearly NORMAL and pretty damn high. Then she adopts which is awesome but she finds herself pregnant in the movie (this is in the previews so I'm not disclosing anything secret.) She gushes about how all she had to do was adopt and stop thinking about it and she got pregnant! Whoo hoo! Well, in real life, people that have infertility issues are not given such a generous 15% shot. Also in real life, when there are real infertility issues, just relaxing and not thinking about it are not going to make real medical issues go away. Thankfully, for my boys dealing with infertility, no one has ever been dumb enough to say "Just relax and it will happen naturally, why all the medical intervention?" Well, because duh really. But when the couple is not two guys (or two women) the general idea is that given time, it will just happen. Truthfully, many people dealing with infertility have actual medical reasons why they are NOT any MORE likely than two gay guys to conceive just by relaxing. The SATC show just kinda spat in the face of infertility when they could've really had an opportunity to deal with a very real issue. That was disappointing. Not that I think they are responsible for educating the public on infertility so I don't really care that much. I guess I just wanted to say… ya… wow… that wasn't so cool of them was it?

I'll sign off now. I'm hoping I wrote about enough hot buttons that more people will feel inclined to enter comments. :) Hey, I'm a grown up. I can take it. What have ya got to say??

Posted by robynanne at 1:46 PM CDT

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