Weight: 160.0 lbs.
There is a coffee bar in the same building as my work that is an oasis. Just a mere walk down a long hall, past the bathrooms, through a double doorway, over some scaffolding and through the air duct, you will find it. I call it the beverage haven. Not only do they carry the coveted paper cups instead of the Earth killing styrofoam that I'm convinced is melting oily residue of evil into all of my drinks, but they have.... FREE HONEY. Yes, along with the little psychedelic packets of pastel colored fake sugars and the pristine white packets of the processed addictive dehydrated crystallized cane juice itself, they have packages of honey. For free. Perfectly sized for the size large paper cups that hold the perfect amount of water for my tea. I have guiltily been passing myself off as a member of this advanced clan of Medtronic people so as to partake in the freeness of their honey. And the paper cups.
This past weekend while I was skipping merrily along the dark and empty halls of work at midnight and later, (IE - creeped out beyond belief at the total scariness of all aspects of this building after hours.) I happened to make my way through the very very dark air duct to the beverage haven. I took a small stack of paper cups (~5) and the entirety of honey packets out on the counter. (~4) Yes, my life of thievery of the coffee oasis supplies for the more privileged of us employees has begun. I suspect shortly I will be bringing home crates of yellow post it notes and tape. Next week I'm bringing home a fax machine. Anyway, yes, I decided that part of my payment for being here for hours at night in the dark would be some extra honey packets.
I just got back from the beverage haven and low and behold, in the mere hours from my stolen honey moments, they have rearranged the whole area! The different groups now have their own cupboards and things are shut away from view. There was no honey to be seen. True, perhaps it is just gone since I did clean them out. Or - they've decided to lock it away from me and my gluttony. Damn them. Now where will I get my free fix?
