April 14, 2008 9:01 A.M. Weight: 159.0 lbs.

So, there I was in my bedroom with a bag full of hot corn shoved down my pants.

I had just completed PIO shot #4 - well - my husband had just completed stabbing me in the ass with a 22gage needle and injecting me with 10 ccs of pure poison gaurenteed to make me bloated, cranky, and constipated. After putting all the sharp things into the sharp things container hidden away in our dinning room hutch (what, don't YOU keep medical supplies in your dinning room hutch? I figured it was the one place none of the kids would get at it.) and returning the medicine vial and other paraphanilia to its proper place, I tossed this flannel bag full of corn that my dear friend made for me into the microwave. I nuked it to appropriate hotness and unbuttoned my pants to fit this ~10 pound bag of heated corn into the back of my pants. The very fact that I could button my pants up again after doing that might suggest that I either probably shouldn't be wearing those pants in public or that I should at least not be wearing them all weekend long without even bothering to remove them to sleep. Sorry - yes - I can be THAT lazy. The heat has proven itself to help ease the lump of oil that forms at the injection site into my muscle and I've noticed significantly less pain. So much for ignoring it after the first shot after my friend tried very hard to warn me how much it helps. I figured - Hey, that didn't even hurt and *I* am tough - HA - hot pack my ass. (Get it, hot pack - my ass - not ON my ass! HA!) Little did I know that the pain was not in the shooting but in the walking around and general living with a large lump of oil that has no intention of dispersing on its own. Huh - imagine - sometimes the advice of someone who's been there, done that is actually worth listening to. Live and learn, I guess.

So anyway, I went up to my room to finish reading some blogs on the computer and there I was in my bedroom with a bag of hot corn down my pants. I happened to have to go to the bathroom so I wandered in and as I walked past the mirror I was rewarded with this image of someone with a very large ass and an untucked loose shirt hanging over everything. I almost went into convulsions. I thought for a very brief moment that someone had snuck my old ass onto me without me noticing! (Ya, I know, I've taken too many drugs in the last 30-odd days. You should see my driving skills!! On second though, I'm really hoping NO ONE sees my driving skills as of late - especially not people wearing blue uniforms and owning cars with blinky lights on the top. Do you think the "I'm sorry officer but I haven't pooped properly in 14 days and I thought I might've had the urge coming on so I really needed to get to a bathroom as fast as possible." excuse would get me anything?)

I will tell you one thing - seeing that image of me and knowing that I was STILL able to button up my size 14 (I know - they are my WEEKEND pants!) jeans so I was actually larger than that before losing the 70 pounds - it was surreal. I was so proud and embarrassed all at the same time.

Anyway, the moment was short lived because I actually DID have to go to the bathroom and these days, when I think I might actually be able to be rewarded for my efforts on the toilet I don't mess with waiting around.

I have to admit that I ended up not working out on Friday. I did go in on Sat and while I had resolved to run 5 miles just like the weekend before, I wussed out and only did 3. I did do those 3 at an average of 6.2 MPH so I'm quite proud of that - however I wish that I had stuck it out longer. In the first mile I was feeling AWESOME at 6.2 MPH. I was thinking I could hold that pace all day without even being tired. Ya, maybe if I lived at the north pole during winter and "all day" meant a total of 23.18 minutes. I absolutely got tired. I'm going to have to work on my endurance and ability to keep it going for longer now rather than just continueing to up the speed.

After my run I weighed in at 159.0! AHH, so CLOSE to breaking the 158 mark!! I figured that if I could ever not be walking around with my intestines cramping up due to inhumane digestive conditions thanks to all the progesterone I'd probably be a decent 155 by now so I didn't take the 159 so badly. This morning I was also 159 (not .0, incidentally, damn peanut butter!) but I'm still kinda psyched because my mindset has obviously moved to thinking of 159 as a 'high' number to be beat and not the 'low' number I'm hoping to achieve.

Onto my day. My goals are as follows:

1) Don't say or do anything stupid in front of anyone such that they start to wonder about recreational drugs I might be on. (Oh gosh if ONLY that were the case!)

2) Have plenty of alone time in the restroom.

3) Do NOT turn into a carb zombie at any point in the day but especially after 8PM.

4) Healthy dinner.