About a month or so ago, my husband got me a Magellan GPS for my car. He did this on a whim because he was at Costco and it was on sale and he is like that. This, folks, is why we have separate checking accounts, but I digress. Anyway, this little purchase hardly rates as one of his more… um… exciting ones, and truth be told, if there is anyone on the planet that needs one of these suckers, it is me. I have no sense of direction. I once walked to a park a few blocks away from our house with Gavin when he was about 2 years old. We had just moved here but still - we walked to the park. I was being brave. On the way home, Gavin wanted to make a left turn around the block instead of a right turn and we had plenty of time so I figured, sure, we’ll check the neighborhood out. Um, well, fast forward a few hours and you will find a tired and frustrated me hailing down the nicest looking mommy in a mini-van to give my lost child and I a lift back to our house. I’m pretty sure she thought I was ‘special’ in some way and I’d have to agree. That is precisely how bad my sense of direction is. Honestly, it is a wonder that I manage to get anywhere in a car where the pure speed allows you to get so much MORE lost so much more quickly.

This GPS device talks to me. I talk back. It says things like ‘Make a left turn in 4.5 miles.’ or ‘Stay on the current road in 2.4 miles.’ (Apparently it doesn’t trust me to not spontaneously turn when it hasn’t told me to.) I say things like ‘You better be right this time.’ or ‘Sure, I’ll drive over the invisible bridge.’ See, the problem is that it doesn’t seem to know that the 35W bridge is gone. It also seems to think there is a Wells Fargo bank in the middle of nowhere. There is not. I’ve checked. I’ve checked because when I needed a bank it was ever so handy to have the points of interest button that I could use to ask it where the closest bank is. It routed my drive and told me how long it would take and I followed the instructions. Right into the middle of a run down area with absolutely no bank of any kind. At exactly the time I’m sitting in my car on the street wondering what I’m going to do now my GPS tells me, “You have arrived.” Yes, clearly, I have. Stupid little GPS woman.

Annoying errors aside, I have to admit that I have become dependent on this device. I will tell it when I am going anywhere - even places I know very well how to get to. I do this because it estimates my arrival time which I love. When I’m out biking or running, I find that I miss my robotic GPS companion. I think what I really need is a GPS watch. Then I could use it to set my running routes and it would tell me how far they are and I’d never have to get lost. Mostly though, when I get to the end of a long run, GPS woman would always be there to tell me, “You have arrived.” Now if only I could get a watch for my husband that says “What would your wife say about buying that?”