Weight: 163.0 lbs.

Ack! That's all I can think of to say on the weight. I mean, I've been eating mostly right and working out and trying to really pay attention to what I'm doing so that I could get back to the 150s and away from the scary 161. I get on the scale for the first time in awhile after working out away from the gym expecting to see a nice drop… or at least a normal toe-the-line same as every other day 160. It took my brain awhile to process the combination of the 1, 6, and 3. Seriously. That's just not right. And yet, it is what it is and I'm not in my life to dwell on that weight. Really though, when stuff like that happens while I'm working to go in the other direction, it tends to scare me. I mean, what would I do if in another 3 days, with the same level of activity, I go to 168? Where is my control? I don't really think that would happen - but the concepts and the what ifs kinda just hang out there.

I am very proud to say that I ran the full 7 miles in the Eagan Fun Run. Well, it was a 2 mile run and then a 5 mile run. Technically, I stopped to walk for about 25 seconds when they handed out water to drink the little cup without choking because really - I didn't want to tax my coordination at that point. The 2 mile run was really nice. It was through this residential area with lots of nice homes that I'd love to live in. A few hills which bugged me since I'm used to running on the perpetually flat land that could go on forever with my treadmill. There was this group of kids that were about Gavin's age (8) that all had bright red shirts on and were running the 2 mile run. Now, I really didn't want to kill myself with the 2 mile since I had a 5 mile to complete after but I also was determined to not let a certain couple of skinny little girls stay in front of me. I almost passed them on the big downhill section where I actually passed a number of people. Hey, taking giant leaps down the hill lets gravity do the work and I don't mind taking advantage of that. The girls, however, were still in front. It wasn't until we got to the last quarter mile that I finally passed them - wussy little kids! At the very end, there was this section of bike trail that led from the road to the finish line in the park. I tend to pick it up when I can see the finish line - mentally it feels like throwing myself across that line. There was this boy, maybe about 12 or so, in front of me on that bike path. He did not want me to pass him. I'd try to go around on one side, and he'd move over on the path to block me. I'd try to go on the other side, and he'd move over to the other side to block me. Then he picked up his pace so that it wasn't an issue anymore anyway. I didn't catch the time when I finished, but my friend there told me it was ~20:04 or so. Considering I was trying to run it slow enough that I'd not die for the 5 mile run, that was pretty impressive. We had about 10-13 minutes to walk a bit and then it was up to the starting line for the 5 mile.

Now, I know that I'm hardly the best runner or anything, but I have to say that I'm used to not being in the very back of any run. Usually, it seems, there are enough people there that are slower (and walking at least some of the way) such that I can feel securely in the middle of the pack. In this 5 mile run, my friend and I found ourselves dead last as we started out. She told me to go on ahead but really, for all that I was happy to look like I was being nice by running with her, I wasn't all that sure I had much 'ahead' in me. It was rough to start out that 5 mile after running the 2. It was more rough to feel like you were really trying hard and EVERYONE, including the mom pushing the 3-wide jogging stroller, was in front of you. Having that fire truck nipping at your heels is creepy. I would've loved to have taken it slower but ego-wise, I just couldn't. Plus, I didn't have my GPS with me and I wasn't entirely certain that if I DID stop to walk and lose the group completely, I'd be able to find my way back. So I ran to get back in the safety of the pack. I ran to stay on course. It was challenging. The self talk you do the whole way. Running past the houses as the people go out to watch the runners and knowing that I could not stop to walk in front of them, period. The sun was out and it was getting really bright on my face. The shady places were good but before long the sun was high enough that the fences along the bike paths weren't keeping it out of my eyes. I managed to burn my face just a bit. I don't know what it is… it isn't painful to run. If there was actual pain in running I'd understand why the drive to stop and walk is so intense. As it is, I don't. During that run in particular, it was just a matter of compartmentalizing that desire to stop and keeping it separate from the mechanics of running. Moving your arms and legs - setting those on a rhythm and leaving your brain to consider other things such as why that police officer back there just told you it was almost over and all downhill from here on out and she totally LIED because now you're going up a little slope. It is weird. I can see the draw to run those longer distances and to practice keeping that desire to stop down. To take control over what you are doing and to own those movements, and to beat that inner voice that wants to NOT do it. Well, 7 miles was absolutely long enough for me! I'll have to do that again and get better at the distances but as of right now, I was quite dead at the end. Dead enough to let Jeanette's dog french kiss me as I laid in the grass at the end anyway, so there you are. Oh, and I again missed my time but my friends told me it was about 53 minutes for that 5 miles… so 73 minutes or so for 7 miles.

I can honestly say that I did not expect to be sore after that run. I've been running 5 mile workouts so really, what's an extra 2 miles? Well, I was a little sore on Sunday. Today I went in and did a 3 mile run (27 minutes and something seconds!!) and I could feel the soreness and tightness while I stretched. The next run is at the end of June and judging by the 7 weeks out thing, I might be able to run that as well. We'll see though.

Last Friday I heard from the guys that it is for sure now that we are going with a new donor. I'm excited to find out where we are at now for everything. I'd have to imagine that it depends on where the donor and I are, cycle-wise. Theoretically, if it was just based on my cycle, we could do a transfer around the middle two weeks of June. It will be so nice to have a plan and schedule that we are all following along and know more or less what is going to happen. It almost sounds crazy to even think about at this point!